Thursday, September 2, 2010

Baby(Shep) on the Brain

Month 9 of marriage...(week 30 of pregnancy)

It's still fun, and ever exciting with my Nate! We are so over enveloped in the baby's arrival, it is about all we think about, aside from when Curb Your Enthusiasm comes on at 10:00pm. Even then, we read to the baby on commercial breaks, and have decided that baby loves Dr. Seuss the best.

In case you aren't yet a parent-to-be, or just want to remember how this stage of the game goes, it's something like this...

You hope that your baby looks like your partner.
You hope that your baby sleeps like you. (in my case)
You wonder if you'll be all alone in the hospital, or your husband will actually make it in time.

Of course, you wonder if you are going to be a good parent, and if your husband and you will make a good team.

You wonder if the things you do and say, are somehow going to completely mess your kid up in their adult life both socially and internally.

You wonder if, by playing Beatles albums will spark some creative musical genius, or by playing Frank Zappa will make him weird. What if the Ramones makes the kid hyper?

Is there mold in this house?
What if the position of the crib is bad for morning sun, and the vent blow right on the baby all night? Is this bad?

Once you temporarily get over whatever issue you think you are instilling in your kid, and you have given your husband the "once over", you get into somewhat strange conversations with your partner. Or, in my case, your husband asks you questions that you aren't sure he has ever even seen a baby.


Me: "I am not sure why all baby bedding comes with a comforter. What a waste, you can't even use it for at least the first 6 months."
Nate: "Do you realize that we are having a baby this winter? What are you going to do, put the baby in a diaper and throw him in the crib?
Aside - This is a true story
Me: "No, but you have to swaddle a baby! Why don't we get a ton of stuffed animals and pillows and make sure they are in the crib too?"
Nate: "Show me a picture of a swaddled baby. I need to see this."
I do this. Of course, the first picture that comes up is a Russian baby that is swaddled so only the face is showing.
Nate: I am NOT doing that to the baby! It looks like torture."
We search for the proper way to put a baby to bed. I am right, by the way. Thank God for Google.


Let me preface this story with telling you that Nate is an extremely clean person, that doesn't ever want to ruin anything. By ruin, I mean get a spot of anything on anything.

We got our stroller in the mail a few weeks ago. I put it together. Nate asked me where I was going to store it.

Me: "The garage" with a puzzled look on my face
Nate: "um,, I don't' like that. How about the hall closet?"
Me: "Why? What's the point in that? It's an outdoor item!"
Nate: "We may have mice in the garage right now, and I really don't want mouse piss on the stroller, and it's dirty in there."
Me:"Are you serious? This kid is going to poop up his back, puke, spill in this thing!"
Nate: "can we buy a Rubbermaid container to store it in? I'd just assume store it in my car , then."
Me: "So, when you are at work, and I need the stroller, it's safely tucked in the back of your Jeep? Do you know those Rubbermaid containers are about $300.00?"

This shouting match pretty much stopped here...for now. The stroller is in the hall closet, for now.