Monday, November 1, 2010

The Whopper dilemma and other Halloween ramblings

Nate and I have had a long history of Halloween candy stresses in our lives. Well, I guess more than others, I suppose. In high school, I told him that he smelled like "old Halloween candy" and he got mad at me. Really mad at me. (A few months ago, I told him that he smelled like Barbie legs, so take it for what it's worth)

Yesterday was our first official Halloween as the united front, The Shephards. I wish that I was over dramatizing some of the following conversations and theories, but I am not. I am writing about this solely to look back in a few years and laugh. I will probably be laughing about how nothing changes.

To preface the story, I should tell you that we decided amicably, to buy (2) 105 piece bags of a combo pack of Kit Kats, Whoppers, Hershey bars, and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. We have a huge neighborhood, and even this amount was a risky bet that we'd make it through.

We woke up late, as any married couple that was about to have a baby would. The first thing Nate says to me is something like, "I think kids are going to hate The Whoppers. You should give out (2) of those and one of the others." He was obviously laying in bed thinking of how bad this situation was for the children that I was about to infect with Whoppers.

Me: "I love Whoppers, and I'd be happy with them, so I wouldn't worry. The bummer candy in my opinion are the Good'nPlenty, smarties and Necco wafers."

Nate: "Whoppers are like drywall covered in chocolate. How about 5 pennies taped together? What can you do with that?"

Okay, Whoppers and pennies are NOT the same, and this is how we started the day.
Flash to several hours later ...

4:10 We started Sunday dinner early. Nate didn't want to be interrupted because to him, there is nothing worse than being interrupted at dinner. By the way, he is 33, not 91.

We ate, uninterrupted.

5:00, we got ready for the trick or treaters. Tick tock. Nothing.
6:00, I was poised (literally) by the window trying to get my first glimpse of tiny witches, goblins and princesses. Nothing yet.
6:30 We both get restless. I am at a fever pitch of excitement, and Nate just wants this over with already.

6:45 We get our first customer! I dole out (1) piece of candy.
In the next hour, we get about 15-20 kids. Nate tried to calculate exactly how many kids in retro spect. He then says, "Maybe if we get only a few more kids by 7:30, you should give out 2 each."

I am hesitant.

In the meantime, we get a good wave of kids and adults making their way down our street. This makes Nate nervous.
Nate: "Maybe we should give (1) Whopper and (1) of something else now." (Remember, Whoppers are third class citizens, apparently, so that is like giving 1 1/2 pieces.)

Me: "I think we're fine."

Another wave of kids comes by...

We went back to (1) piece each. Now, our booty is really low. My plan was to turn the lights out at 9:00. Nate balked at that.
"9:00? I can remember getting in big trouble over coming home at 8:30. ALL the parents were pissed. If you thought you came home at 11:00, you didn't."
Me: " I said, it felt like 11:00, but I know that's not true. I just don't know!"

8:26 Our bowl is D.O.A. I had to turn down cute little kids in furry little cat costumes because we just couldn't manage our candy, no matter how hard we tried.

I was really disappointed because the kids were losing out. Nate, in all seriousness, looked at me and said "I know you blame this on me. You don't think that we got enough candy at Target, and now you are mad at me."
I laughed, "No, not at all. We both agreed to the bags of candy, don't worry about it."
Nate: "We bought over $20 worth of candy, I can't run out now, it's too late! We won't get that many more kids!"
Me: " I know, I am just sad that we can't give all the kids candy, that's all."
Nate: "Turn off the lights now, it's over."

I almost forgot to tell you, that at one point Nate asked me how many pieces I was dishing out, and just wanted to see if I was throwing handfuls in kids bags. yep.

And that was our Halloween, and that is our life. We stress over the nuances of candy distribution, but it took us all of a week to have the first and middle names of a boy name and a girl name selected when I was about 7 weeks pregnant. Also last night, we both decided that Malta would be a great place to visit. And so, the adventure continues...


  1. i love whoppers. so does my mom. she'll buy a box and eat those with a glass of milk as a meal. that would blow nate's mind.

  2. I love them too! I used to get them when I'd fly to Buffalo to see Nate, and I could leave the box there and it MOST LIKELY wouldn't get touched!